Montessori: It's Not Just for Children!
Maria Montessori knew--and history and neuroscience have proven--that Scientific Pedagogy based on knowledge of the basic developmental traits of ALL human beings would change the lives of children for the better. Dozens of bloggers and scientists would confirm this! There’s no question that Montessori is good for children.
But what if I told you that it has inherent and wonderful value for adults, too? That these changes that you make--to your home, to your lifestyle, to the way you raise your children--could have inherent value for YOU, too! That’s right! Montessori: it’s not just for children.
“Little by little, it changes people.”
When Maria Montessori started planning for Directresses to lead the Casa Dei Bambini, there was a whole piece of her pedagogy that was based around the transformation of the adult. She believed that the adult must deeply examine who they are, remove and root out their own prejudices, and focus on seeing the child for who they truly are.
She believed her teachers should be scientists and saints! While her standards for adults were high, I ultimately believe they came from a hopeful place: one that believed that any person could elevate themselves to serve the child in the highest regard. I love this quote from her:
“At first the teacher will say, ‘I have seen the child as he ought to be, and found him better than I could have ever supposed.’ This is what it means to understand infancy. It is not enough to know that this child is called John, that his father is a carpenter; the teacher must know and experience in her daily life the secret of childhood. Through this she arrives not only at a deeper knowledge but at a new kind of love which does not become attached to the individual person, but to that which lies in the hidden darkness of this secret. When the children show her their real natures, she understands perhaps for the first time, what love really is. And this revelation transforms her also. It is a thing that touches the heart, and little by little it changes people.”
-Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind (p.282)
Practicing What You Preach
People say that it takes an adult doing something 30 times in a row to build it into a new habit. This has been so apparent to me in my life as a Montessorian! I would not say that, pre-teaching and parenting, I was the most observant or mindful--especially of myself and my own feelings.
But this funny thing happened to me: the more I observed the children and became mindful of their needs, the more I observed myself, and became mindful of my own! The ability to sit in silence and discomfort and JUST WATCH AND WAIT for them instilled the same in me!
Similarly: if I was responsible for modeling for children the maintenance of the environment, for the modeling of care of others, for the modeling of how to handle hard emotions...it meant I had to practice them! By myself, and with the children. Each time I practiced, I internalized those skills a little bit more. Yes, the children were learning!!! But so, importantly, am I.
Mistakes Are How We Grow
It’s easy sometimes though, I know, to miss all that self-learning when we are ALSO making so many mistakes. Error is a part of human existence--and everyone does it. But not everyone is given the same opportunity to be friendly with their error. Friendliness with error, an important facet of Montessori education, is simply the understanding that making mistakes is how we come to understand the right way to do something.
It’s why Maria Montessori so valued self-correcting materials, and emphasized the importance of letting children experiment with the materials as much as they needed to make their own discoveries. I know I tell children all the time: it’s okay to make mistakes! And if I really and truly believe it to be true for them...that means it must be true for me, too. I muster forgiveness for myself. I try to see the chances to learn and grow.
The World is Full of Wonder and Discovery
When you spend every day looking at the world through the eyes of a young child, it becomes impossible to ignore WONDER. The delight of reading a word for the first time, unexpectedly. The first taste of sour, bitter, sweet, salty. The knowledge that we are just one of many planets in one of many galaxies that soars through the vast expanse of space. These may lose their luster to us as we grow, but each time a child makes a new discovery, we are welcome to BEHOLD and bask in that wonder.
And speaking of discovery? In encouraging our children to learn about those things that interest them, those things that they are driven to learn, I hope we all remember that anything we want to learn more about is WORTHY OF OUR TIME and worth learning. The learning never has to stop--and what we learn doesn’t need to be dictated by what our children NEED or what our job REQUIRES. We can learn FOR US. For the pleasure of learning.
I’m so grateful for Montessori for my children. But also? I’m grateful for it for ME <3
