My Toddler Just Isn’t Into Montessori
Toddlers are fun, mischievous little creatures! They have an agenda all their own. When we try to intervene, they don't always go along with it!
Thus, we have a common conundrum. How does one get a toddler to do Montessori activities? And if not those, what should a toddler be doing all day?
I'm Aubrey Hargis, Montessorian and mom of two. I have also homeschooled my children since they were very, very little, and I love being their teacher. I've written two books so far, one about Baby Milestones and one about Toddler Discipline, and I still love helping mamas troubleshoot those young ages with a Montessori mindset...because Montessori begins at the beginning of life! And education is a journey we take with our children, and the opportunities for learning start over every day.
Hi, sweet friends! Welcome back to the podcast! I am feeling super jealous because my parents just traveled across the country to visit my two year old niece, Juliette, who I am missing terribly! We live in SF and my brother lives in FL, and with COVID happening, it feels like such a long time since we’ve been together!
Ok, let's talk about how to handle these sweet toddlers. I got a note from a mama who writes:..
“I’m really having trouble and would love help. I feel like maybe I’m not following my newly turned 2 year old very well. Finally caught that she’s in a transformation schema and so I’m going to add things to encourage that but I can’t seem to find what she’s interested in. Sound games, puzzles, threading, most she won’t do. Likes her Schleich animals, playdough, water play but besides that I’m just not seeing it!!”(12:09)
First: This ideal of the hyper focused, academically-inclined toddler/preschooler is a myth perpetuated by the education system. (12:57)
You are doing nothing wrong! 15 years ago, children were expected to learn to read in first grade. Then Kindergarten. Now, many districts expect it to happen even before Kindergarten. We are pushing children to get older faster - and I saw it in action when teaching Kindergarten myself, as they slowly stripped out all of the toys and play for more academic instruction.
Second: A *lot* of the activities that we see happening on Montessori social media are really part of the curriculum for three to six year olds! (17:03)
So much of what is out there on the internet is targeted at this age group--and it’s all amazing, but it’s not developmentally targeted at toddlers.
Here’s what toddlers are actually drawn to do: (18:22)
BIG MOVEMENT activities (18:28) Toddlers are focused on producing maximum effort and refining their gross motor skills--and the work in toddler classrooms often reflects that. There is certainly shelf work that focuses on fine motor skills, but a lot of the work that happens is gross motor work. They love to carry things around -- dolls, lovies -- and explore how they can use them within the environment.
Dancing (20:21) Body movement in general--sometimes singing at the same time, or doing sign language
Develop Expressive and Receptive Language Social Skills (20:50)
They are learning the names of everything around them, and looking to explore how to manipulate that thing or combine it with another thing.
Important Reminder: Our job as Montessorians preparing an environment is not to set up shelves full of work. (23:46) Our job is to set up an environment in which they can explore and interact with to better understand the world and how they operate within it.
They also really love:
Laughing (24:24)
Taking baths and exploring the properties of water (25:24)
Sensory experiences: mushing, smushing, picking things up (26:43)
Simple toys (27:33)
Transportation and Relocation (28:40
Don’t put pressure on yourself by assuming that your child needs to be doing MORE (29:43)
Give them space to bumble about, play, explore, run around outside, and laugh. All of the other things will come with time! The only Montessori activity you really need to focus on incorporating with your toddler is Practical Life--just by encouraging them to take part in the care of the house and the care of themselves.
Your primary job is to follow your child in their natural interests and inclinations (31:00)
This is always true, but never more so than in the toddler years. You can prepare the environment, but mostly: laugh, and enjoy, and bumble around together. Trust that they will do what they need to do to grow.
Gratitude (31:47)
Today, I am missing Juliette, my niece, so much--but I am so grateful for the gift of that sweet toddler in my life; and I’m grateful for the mamas who trust me to support them on their journey and let me watch them grow alongside their sweet children.
