Getting Your Child's Screen Time Under Control
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We're here today to talk about something that strikes a deep and unresolved fear into the heart of many a Montessori parent: screen time.
I am finding a lot of comfort in is the fact that even when everything else in the world feels topsy-turvy, child development—the fundamental needs of a child to grow and thrive—stays the same. This deep inner work of the child is unhindered.
It’s a great, stable thing to focus on...meaningful and purposeful!
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting! Today we’re talking about SCREENTIME. I picked this INTENSE topic because I imagine it is something that you are potentially dealing with now, and maybe in the long term. I *know* this is a topic that strikes fear in the heart of many a Montessori parent! It’s not that screentime is inherently non-Montessori, but Montessorian’s tend to by hyper-cognizant of what tools they use for their child’s entertainment and education. We know that anything that influences a child affects their development: food, chemicals...screens. They all affect the way they engage and interact with their world.
Different Perspectives
I used to have this conversation with my husband a lot! It usually went something like this:
Me: I keep reading that screentime is bad for kids, and I know you were watching TV with him the other day. Do you think it might hinder his development?
Him: What makes you think he wouldn’t be hindered by a lack of exposure to screens? What if every other child grows up having screentime and playing video games and it gives them skills that he then doesn’t have as an adult?
And you know what? We both had a point. I have always sort of been averse to background noise—even, ironically radio & podcasts! In contrast, my husband grew up in a house where the TV was on a lot, in a family where he was taught to love and enjoy media in a way I never was. Many people find screens and background noise to be comforting (especially if it is something they grew up with), and know that there is no knowing how society will use screens for skilled work in the future!
The truth of the matter is that we don’t have hard and fast data on the long term effects of moderate screen time use. Yes, there are some studies that show correlation between addictive behavior, obesity and the amount or types of screentime use that children have.
It’s difficult though to analyze the effect of SMALL amounts of things--and even more difficult to find a group of people that can be used as a control...that can be isolated from screens entirely when they are so ubiquitous in our society. Practically, it’s just REALLY hard to do these studies.
Let go of the Guilt
So, all this guilt you may be feeling? Because you’re worried of the fear-mongering stories about screen time use that you see online? Try to let it go. This episode is for you. As parents, we tend to want to know these sort of things with certainty. I want to tell you: YES, there is some validity in that we should have some skepticism about things that impact and affect our children’s development.
I can tell you how I feel about certain apps, or certain shows. I can tell you that my personal feeling is that there is not a whole lot of educational value in the screentime options pushed towards children. Yes, there are some studies that indicate positive outcomes in children who watch specific programming (I can think of one specific one involving Sesame Street). We know that screen time CAN sometimes have a positive effect!
We also know that violent programming tends to lead to short-term behavior which is more aggressive in children. We might think that it could lead to long term aggressive behavior, too--but studies of violent video games and the way that they impact teenager’s brains don’t seem to indicate that. They may desensitize, but they don’t seem to make people want to commit violent acts.
Interactive apps and Video Games...some of them can have positive educational outcomes. But for children under 6, I’m not convinced that there is a lot that they can learn from an app that wouldn’t be better supported by non-screentime options.
With my own young child, I had a few different experiences with apps. There were a few we introduced...and one he was introduced to by a friend. I quickly found that app had some pretty addictive properties--and that each time he used it, it was a battle to end screen time and there was a constant desire to play again. So: that experiment wasn’t working! It wasn’t good for him, or for our relationship. He wasn’t able to self-regulate with that work.
Be Intentional
That doesn’t mean that we shut down screen time or app use ENTIRELY. We just shifted our focus to more practical apps. Rather than a puzzle app to keep a child busy, we used Google Earth together! If the apps are being used as part of a back and forth dialogue between the parent and the child, it’s a constructive resource. When you’re using them like this...I think you don’t have to worry about it so much!
No educator, no child development specialist, can give you an exact number of hours of screen time that is appropriate for a child. You know YOUR child best. There are organizations that offer guidelines, like the AAP. You should realize these guidelines can be helpful, but I would encourage you to consider your specific child. If your infant or young toddler is spending a lot of time stationary in front of the TV, that’s going to hinder their motor development. Obviously, that’s not at all ideal!
But an older child, who is perhaps engaging with more involved video games or apps, might need a longer period of time to actually accomplish anything while using the media. For them, rather than some arbitrary number of minutes a day, you may find that you’re setting a certain block of time aside a week for that activity, rather than trying to parcel it out in smaller chunks by day.
All this to say: it depends on your family and your observation of your child. On what you notice impacts them dramatically, and what doesn’t. On how YOU feel when you read those articles online, and how you feel about the needs to follow those guidelines. You can be the scientist and make informed decisions for your child based on what you see and experience.
