Montessori Opened My Eyes with Joanna
Meet Joanna, a Montessori mom of three, living in Texas, USA. She’s an alumna of Homeschool: Primary and Homeschool: Lower Elementary and a member of Constellation.
Would you introduce yourself, your family, and your lifestyle?
I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom to three children, ages 9, 4, and 2. My husband is an IT professional and has been working from home since the onset of COVID, so we are all together all of the time. I was born in North Carolina but have lived in Texas since I was 6 years old.
My husband grew up in Puerto Rico and moved to Texas in 2005, and he and I met the next year. We have a bilingual (English/Spanish) household.
We live in North Texas, in pretty temperate weather year-round save mid-July to August and the occasional freak winter storm that throws our state into crisis. We are in a suburban area in a single-family home with a fenced in back yard.
What is a typical day for you with your children?
Typically, my two younger children wake around 8 in the morning and will get themselves a snack while I do my morning routine and get caffeinated. My 9-year-old already likes to sleep in and stay up later, so she's rarely awake with us at this point. If she does get up, she'll just lay on the couch and snuggle for a while.
Our mornings are spent with read-alouds from picture books, sometimes family games, lessons for the 4-year-old and occasionally the 2-year-old and my 9-year-old working on her independent work. A bit before noon we prepare and eat lunch, and then we pray the 2-year-old takes a nap, lol. What happens at this point often determines the direction of the rest of our day. If she goes to sleep as planned, then I head out to the school/playroom and give whatever lessons or assistance is needed to my 9 year old. During this, my 4-year-old entertains himself outside or with works or sometimes on apps on an old phone.
Around 3 the 2-year-old wakes and gets "tender cuddles" in the playroom. This is often the time that I will read aloud to my 9-year-old from the chapter book that we're working through. We're currently reading "Rump”, and everyone is loving it. On a great day, we have a snack at the table with some activity from our "riches loop." So we may do a poetry teatime, which my 9-year-old particularly enjoys because she likes the ritual of hot tea, and I usually try to get some new type of cookie or other treat for it. On a less great day, we are hanging on until dinnertime at this point.
My husband ends work around 6 and we all eat together and then pick up if we haven't done it already. Then it's usually pretty close to time for baths and bedtime routine (for the 2 & 4yo), but we have had some success sneaking in some family time for dance parties or games in this little sliver of time.
At bedtime, hubby and I work together to make sure that the littles are dressed and teeth brushed and my 9-year-old typically gets their waters prepared and hunts down the 2 year old's pacifier. That responsibility was borne out of necessity as she tends to get my 4-year-old wound up if left to her own devices.
One day I remembered one of my parenting mantras for when my children's behavior is getting to me, "give her a job," and I asked if she could please help me by getting their water sippy cups ready. That's evolved into a task that she performs most nights now. Just like my husband and I need time without any of our kids, she also needs some time without the little kids, so she stays up later than they do and looks forward to that peaceful time.
Once the babies are ready, my husband and I alternate nights putting them to sleep so whoever's night it is will go in and lie with them in their full-size floor bed until they fall asleep. The evening for me is typically planning/DIY time as well as clothes folding and Netflix some days and special time with my eldest.
What experiences do you love to share with your children?
I love the dance parties we do where the person who chose the song leads the dance, and we all imitate. I love reading to my kids. I love "going out" and having adventures with my kids. And I really enjoy video games. I also love to see the light bulb go off in them when they really understand a concept.
What do your children like to do?
My youngest likes to wreak havoc, lol. That's half joking; she really does know how to make a mess. She also enjoys playing in the sandbox. She can sit out there alone and content for 30 minutes easily. She's also into pouring right now and is all over it whenever it's time to move clothes from the washer to the dryer or dryer to the laundry basket. My older two love to play Minecraft, and when they don't have screens, they do Minecraft pretend play together.
My 4-year-old also loves water. He likes to go outside and make dirt in his mud kitchen and play in the sandbox as well. My oldest loves graphic novels and chatting with her friends on Messenger Kids and games similar to Minecraft where you're almost using CAD to design living spaces. She was excited when I told her that this is an actual job for adults.
Tell us something one of your children did recently that you're proud of.
I always feel so proud whenever one of my big kids does something to care for one of my little kids. Those are the moments that warm my heart the most. Seeing my 4-year-old take the 2-year-old's hand to walk through the parking lot back to the car or pour her some milk makes me feel like we are doing okay over here.
What is your favorite Montessori material or activity?
I love the colored beads. The golden beads as well, but the colored beads are just so flexible.
What advice would you give to someone just starting out with Montessori?
The single most important thing you can do to incorporate the Montessori method into your homeschool and parenting is to become the prepared adult. I think of that as a two-part process. First you prepare yourself intellectually, then you must prepare yourself spiritually.
Intellectually, it is 100% worth it to join a community and to take paid courses. Invest your time and money (if you're able) in learning about both the curriculum and the principles behind the method. You're better off spending $200 on a course like Homeschool of the Redwoods than spending $200 in materials. There are also many free resources, from shelfies on Instagram to Facebook support groups, to library books, to free webinars.
Don't feel badly if you struggle to read Maria's original work, but also don't let the density of the material stop you in your tracks. Just take your time with it and meanwhile read the work of Montessorians that have learned from her and distilled her observations into language that's easier to read for us today. The only book of Maria's I've read thus far in its entirety is Maria Montessori's Own Handbook. I chose it solely due to its lower page count when compared to her other books and it changed my entire parenting life. It changed my children's lives and possibly even their futures.
It's probably not her best book as I've never really seen it recommended, but her ""not best"" was enough to completely change things for me. If money is tight and your library doesn't have any of her work, several of her books can be found free in places like projectgutenberg.org if you're willing to read on the computer or sometimes they're in Kindle format as well.
Secondly, you must prepare spiritually. The act of guiding our children respectfully and kindly simply is not possible for any length of time if we don't care for ourselves. We have to make it sustainable by doing things like sleeping, getting outside, eating regularly food that makes our bodies feel well, drinking enough water, all those basics. It's really hard to observe a child without any judgment if we don't feel physically, mentally, and spiritually well. And it's MUCH harder to suspend judgment if that child is our own. We need to honor the challenge that this task is and equip ourselves for the task by prioritizing our own care.
We need to establish habits and routines that consistently bring us back to caring for ourselves. Probably the thing that I love most about Constellation is that every 2 weeks I know I'm getting back on track, touching base with myself even if I've allowed the wheels to fall a bit off in the 2 weeks prior. It's a huge help to making Montessori homeschooling sustainable.”
If you could time travel and meet Maria Montessori herself, what would you say to her?
Thank you. Just thank you. You totally changed my entire perspective on children and my children's and my lives are so much richer for it.
What do you tell yourself when you feel like you're failing?
I try to zoom out and look at the big picture. I go back to the reasons WHY we chose to homeschool because usually I then realize that the thing that's making me feel like I'm failing isn't even the thing I need to focus on. I'm also hoping that we can get plugged in with a local group this year to have in person support because I really believe that is immensely helpful when you're doing something so far off the trodden path like homeschooling. That sentence makes me think. Maybe homeschooling is a "desire path" as discussed in the article Kari recently shared!
What’s been your experience with Child of the Redwoods?
Ha! I guess I kind of already answered this without even knowing this question was coming. I do enjoy Constellation and I highly recommend it. My reasons are first that it keeps me accountable to my own self-care.
The SHINE and CONNECT sessions are something that help keep me on track when I might otherwise let the wheels fall off. The community support as well is amazing, both from the standpoint of getting very practical advice about curriculum or behaviors and also for the emotional support aspect of it.
I do also love the ideas and materials that Aubrey provides along the theme, but the support is what really keeps me coming back.
