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This Montessori term trips up even the most experienced guide because there is SO MUCH to unpack. What does normalization feel like in the Montessori classroom? Why did Maria keep pressing us on the importance of this normalization thing?

And ugh - the word itself is so weird. How does one make a child NORMAL ANYWAY? 

Sit down. It's time for us to have a chat. 

Today, we're talking about a concept in Montessori that is often misunderstood: normalization. But first, if you’re looking for help setting up your environment to aid in the process of normalization, check out this GREAT list of no cost ways to make your home more child-centered.

I'm Aubrey Hargis, Montessorian and mom of two. I was a Montessori child, and then a Montessori teacher, and then a Montessori Mama, and then a Montessori homeschooling mom. I'm hoping that someday I'll be a Montessori grandma! There's so much to love about Montessori, and I just keep learning more and more every single year--because education is a journey we take with our children, and the opportunities for learning start over every day.

Hey, Sweet Friend (1:12)

I am so on top of the world today! I have been burning the midnight oil for the last couple of weeks really seriously, and off and on since this summer, to prepare for this brand new Lower Elementary program that I'm going to be teaching this fall.I can't even describe the giddiness I feel over this--my work. Real work that fulfills my soul.

Work should be something that you're joyful about and that you cannot wait to get to. I like to think that I could even make the most boring seeming job fun, because that is what a Montessori education has given me. It has given me not just the privilege to get to do the work that I've always wanted to do, but also the perspective that work should be something that feels good to you, that you should love working for the sake of working. 

In Montessori, we tend to use the word work a lot, because we want them to know that work is something that they should value inside themselves and that they should aspire to, and they should be excited about when they get up in the morning.

Meet Marj (9:44)

Our topic for today is normalization, and I'm going to do a little deep dive into that. But first I want to share with you a spotlight of a mama who is in my membership group for a Montessori homeschooling parents called Constellation. 

Her name is Marj, and she has two children.

Let’s Talk Normalization (13:42)

When we say normal in Montessori terms, we don't mean neurotypical as opposed to neuroatypical. Maria Montessori wanted to make a distinction between the child who was primed for learning, concentration, and joy, as opposed to the child who was disrupting, disengaged, or disconnected.

She saw the normal state of children, as a human being who is in a state that allows them to saturate with information and engage in the learning process. She noticed when she first started teaching that there were a lot of children that were not normalized--they were kind of distracted, or disturbing other kids, or just generally just making mischief...not really engaging in their learning environment. She ALSO noticed that the more she used her method with them, the more normalized they became.

How to Normalize a Child (15:49)

Maria treated children with respect, invited them to have choices within their learning environment, and enticed and seduced them to their lessons and their work. She believed you could seduce the children to their work by being playful and joyful with them, and by modeling good learning behavior, like being engaged and being joyful with learning, and being kind. 

Maria also wanted people to know that it was the CHILD who made this magic transformation happen.

Maria Montessori wanted everyone to recognize that it was in the natural state of every single child to actually be joyful, and to want to learn, and to have that spark: for learning new things about their world and for getting better and better at doing things. When we allow the child to unleash their potential, by treating them with respect and kindness and giving them this rich environment, that is what allows them to unleash their potential. 

This is when we see the true child emerge, the normalized child, and all of these crazy things that they might do when they're unhappy, you're distracted, seem to just disappear.The child who was rude became polite. The child who was intensely distractible and couldn't focus learned to concentrate. So, she called this normalization because this was the normal state of the child.

What People Think It Means (19:22)

Many people who are Montessori classroom guides use the term normalization in a bit of a different way.  I did too when I started teaching. Many guides discuss normalization as something a classroom achieves. 

In my experience, a normalized class usually happened around October if school started at the end of August/beginning of September. By the time Halloween came, the children were basically kind of normalized; all of the children in the class had gotten calmer and more focused. They understood school procedures, and I wasn't having to teach them all these brand new lessons all the time, they knew enough lessons in the classroom to be engaged and be working and just be generally just calm and not all distracted and disruptive all the time! 

The classroom feels a-buzz. You just feel this intensity all around your being, and it just feels peaceful. There's this aura of happiness and calmness and it's so lovely. The children are just so engaged, affectionate, and joyful, and the adult filled with love and devotion to them. 

The Homeschool Reality (22:58)

The above definition is why you get Montessori teachers who talk about a normalized class and that glowy way, and also why when a Montessori guide thinks about that feeling of normalization in the homeschool context, they might say normalization can't really happen in a homeschool...because you can’t get that same big buzzy vibe at home as you do in the classroom. 

As a homeschooling Mama, I will tell you it is different. I've only got two children in my house, ...sometimes and the two of them will kind of have that magic between themselves. But since our whole home is our environment, I don't feel like I'm as able to maintain that peaceful state ALL the time. We can normalize, or de-normalize each other easily with our own emotions and moods because there are fewer people in the environment to diffuse. 

Even the classroom, though there's a lot of things that can disrupt normalization. Maria Montessori talks about this, too! Celebrations and holidays, when someone is sick or not sleeping well, etc. 
But here is my promise: normalization is happening to every single child, if you are following the Montessori method.  This includes: giving your child space, not interrupting them, allowing them to make choices about their own education, and prioritizing practical life! That last one is a huge key to normalization.

Gratitude (26:13)

Today, I am grateful that I got to be a Montessori homeschooling mama all the way through age 13!!! I cannot believe I made it 13 years! I'm giving myself a huge high five. 

Right now, however old your child is, I want you to do the same. Just take a moment with the feel that gratitude for however long you've been with your child, whether it is five months, or one month, or whether it is, you know, 20 years...just feel grateful for all of that time that you've gotten to spend with them, and all that you've gotten to learn from them. I'm feeling grateful right now for 13 years worth of learning about Montessori at home.